Wednesday, 29 February 2012
People talk to people in a negative way due to the way they are feeling or if they are finding a situation difficult and uncomfortable, if someone is feeling so low with themselves they will talk about other people in a negative way. They are feeling so low themselves it doesn't affect them. Try this exercise...to everybody who is feeling happy and positive try putting someone else down, how does it make you feel? I tried to imagine putting someone down and it made me feel so miserable and bad I would need to be in a damn right horrible place to do it.
My theory is this......
I feel Personal Development is crucial if we became happier with ourselves and learn how to deal with difficult situations, we would be able to communicate with each other in a positive way, we will see less and less people with low self esteem, more confident people and more people leading happier lives. This in turn will impact who we become and who the people we are in contact with become.
Take this as an example.......
I was in one of my favourite shops the other day and was infront of this Mother and her son, I am guessing he was 5/6. Now I know first hand what Children are like I have a very lively 3 year old, so believe me when I tell you I know how hard it is communicating with Children. I've had to research, learn and watch hours of Super Nanny to help me! The little boy came faced with temptation, Ginger Bread Men, WHY OH WHY do retailers make our lives even tougher by putting sweets, and other temptations at children's eye level!! His Mum told him "No he couldn't have one", obviously he kept asking, "No" his Mum said, he asked again, again and again until his Mum got angry and said "No, next time I come in here you are staying in the car with Daddy". The little boy starts crying she responds with "why are you crying you silly boy, you will be going straight to your room when we get home". Well my tongue was nearly bleeding with me biting it so hard. I finished paying and it was her turn, the lady on the till must have felt sorry for him because after she gave my daughter a token for her favourite boxes (you may have guessed where I was) she gave him one, the Mum responded with I don't know what is wrong with him today he is on one!
Right if I was in a bar and I asked my partner for a glass of wine and he said no, and I asked him again and he said No, then got angry and told me next time we go out for a drink I can stay at home, I am going to be upset and if he told me I was being silly for being upset that is going to affect me personally. I would think I am not worthy of anything. However dramatic this may sound to you this is the affect it has on us as people.
That little boy is going to dread asking for things when he is older as he will feel he is being silly for asking. His Mum made him feel horrible and he will never forget that feeling. This is why our brain is programmed to not ask for things as we don't want to be made a fool of. People will think I am being silly if I ask, I have to build the courage up to ask, they will probably say no, does this sound familar?
If the Mum had explained to the boy why he couldn't have a ginger bread man, due to it spoiling his tea or another reason then the little boy will understand, at no point should his Mum have called him silly, or made him feel horrible as she wasn't in control of the situation, that was her problem not his. It's obvious when you go into a shop kids are going to want stuff, my daughter has her own list!!! I never say to my daughter she is silly, stupid or call her any names, if she is crying or in a tantrum I know it's for a reason. If you tell someone they are stupid, silly or anything else they are going to grow up thinking they are.
When communicating with people please be aware of your words and your behaviour....whether it's your partner, children, employee's, colleagues, staff from companies you are dealing with, friends' or family. Just because you are feeling low or finding the situation difficult or you could even be facing someone who is also low and finding the situation difficult, we all have feelings and our brains get programmed with what we are experiencing.
I could write a whole book on this and one day I probably will, my dream is to be an inspiration and to touch people in a positive way so they can lead happier lives, and to all you who say I am mad or it won't happen I am not listening as I know it will!
I'll finish off with this fab quote......
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Thank you for reading.
Lucy :) xxx
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
I don't know about you, but I get the feeling and get the impression when I hear some people talk that some of us don't really understand the real reasons we work, what business owners have to go through to provide job opportunities and why the benefit system is really there? I want to change our relationship and our mindset and I think the best place to start is at School.
I have not really done any research yet but I have gone on my own experience of school (I know that was quite a few years ago, so the curriculum may have changed), I have had a discussion with a school's career advisor and had a heated short discussion with a teacher and from just this I feel not enough is being done to educate on work. We learn what we need to enable us to work which is just as important but we need to know why we are working in the first place.
I just want to say incase I upset any teachers (as I feel I have already upset a couple and that was never my intention), or anyone involved in school, you all do an amazing job and I'm not critising or blaming you as the subjects you teach children are just as important, I do take my hats off to you, I remember the grief I used to give my geography teacher! I think work and life skills should be an exam, a subject on the curriculum. This has no bearing on the work teacher's do already so please don't take this the wrong way or feel it's your responsibilty. I am not aiming this or targeting teacher's the people I am voicing my opinion to is the Education Minister and Governement. I would love it if Teachers thought this was a good idea too. I also don't think it should soley be School's responsibilities either this is just one of the ways. The Governement needs to implement this and other strategies to our whole work ethic. Also the benefits system and our relationship with it needs to change.
I have employed school leavers myself and especially with one I employed he had no real understanding about work like why he had to turn up on time, why he was paid the rate he was, the way he had to behave in front of customers, what affect his behaviour had on our business, How to work with other members of the team and respecting senior people in the team. Luckily for him as this is a passion of mine I took the time out to invest time in him by teaching and showing him. I am hoping what he learnt from his employment with us he has now taken to his new employment. It's not just school leavers either if your employer doesn't take time out or have the time to teach people, people will never learn making them unemployable.
This leads me on to the benefit system if more people learn't and understood why we worked therefore increasing their employabilty and changing their attitudes, less people will be on benefits. Do people on benefits really know and understand who is paying their benefits or do they think it's coming from the government and this is what they are owed? I would be more than happy to pay tax and put it towards business's to help them grow to create employment and educating and helping people to work instead of putting money in people's pockets to live and rely on.
I do think our relationship with work and benefits is because we live in a "poor me" society. It drives me mad when I hear people saying they are better off on benefits, if they worked such and such hours or earn't such and such their tax credits would be stopped. Benefits are there to assist and help people if needed and not to be relied and treated as main income.
Personally it is unforgivable and unacceptable on the riots that are taking place in our country and I am making and there should be no excuses made for this outrageous behaviour. But what I do ask myself is why they started this in the first place as there has to be a reason as it would never have happened, is it ignorance? is it lack of understanding and respect? surely we need to prevent this from happening again from something that shouldn't of happened in the first place. Surely there are core reasons for this behaviour? I say reasons as no one should have any excuses for anything!!!
Final say..... most of us do know the importance of work and how businesses work and why we earn money. People do know why some people are Richer than other's or why some people are poorer. But unfortunately some people don't know why we work, how people get money and why people are able to buy nice/expensive things. Some people do think they are owed something, as one of my little sayings goes "nobody's going to give it to you, you have to work at what you want and earn it without harming others"
I know this blog is a bit more controversial than my other ones but this is what my core business Virtue is about Work and Business. My next few blogs will be coaching people on work so watch this space.....I am also planning to set up a website aimed at educating people on work and life skills, I think that is a place I will start first before knocking on number 10 downing street!!! I think Mr Cameron has enough of his hands at the moment!
Thank you for reading and please accept my apologises if I have offended anyone, I just want to help. I would also love to hear your opinions on this too, if you agree or not agree with me?
Lucy xxx :)
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Rhiannon has a very demanding job role and it was infringing on her personal life. I helped Rhiannon to set personal goals and implement changes and ways of working in her job role to seperate the two and find a happy life balance.
Please read what she had to say...........
Lucy has a very pragmatic, positive and proactive approach to encouraging positive change. I liked the way that she is very kind, but also has a keen eye for focus on any issues. I would describe Lucy as having a “holisitic” approach, she works closely with all aspects of life, in order to create clear goals for the future.
I thoroughly recommend Lucy Lifecoaching - as she has a gift for inspiring others!
I am still looking for case study clients as I need all the experience I can get to give me the confidence when opening up my coaching practice. By being a case study for me you will receive coaching free of charge, all I ask for in return if you think I have helped you is a Testimonial so I can build up crediabilty and a good reputation when I start charging for my services.
I have detailed below the niche's I am going to specialise in.
Small Business Coaching - Aimed at small businesses to
Help business owners set up good systems and working practices, from start up to established.
Work with Business Owners on their Self Esteem so they can drive their Business forward.
Work with business owners who are on the hamster wheel to come off and start taking control.
Help business owners set personal goals and achieve a better work life balance.
Workplace Coaching - Aimed at Business Owners and Employer's
- Working with Business Owners, Manager's and un motivated Staff to coach and find ways so Staff work for your Business like it's there Business and help move your company forward.
- Coaching Stressed Managers and Employee's in demanding job roles
Aimed at Everyone who wants help with their Career
- Finding out if you are in the right Job
- Help maintain a healthy work life balance
- Job Coaching - Help find the Job for you.
- Threat of Redundancy - Help find alternative employment and build your confidence back up
Thank you for reading and giving me your feedback, it is helping me so much to follow my dream of opening a Business/Career Coaching Practice :0)
Next Blog to follow shortly.... Lucy xx
Thursday, 23 June 2011
I have now choosen the areas I want to specialise in, some of you may have seen on my website what they are. If you are not aware I am going to let you know now and tell you the reasons why I am specialising in these areas.
This is an area I feel soooo passionately about. It saddens me to think we are living our lives day by day, plodding along with the same routine and not making the most of this special life we have been given. I know as I have been one of them, I have also heard it from alot of people, that there are things we want to do in our lives, the dreams we have that just stay thoughts and dreams and never turn into reality. We think we are too busy, not good enough, scared of failing, think people will think we are mad and we continue to dream. I have two questions for you............. Is the life you are living now the actual life you want? Do you have dreams of doing something else? I did, I wanted to become a life coach and now I am and I want to help other people who have dreams and goals and help people turn their dreams and thoughts into reality.
2) Especially for Mummy's Coaching
Well I know too well how your life changes as soon as you become a Mummy. Its the best role I have ever had but also the hardest and emotional role I have ever had too. I will never forget when I went round to my friends house who has 2 little children, as soon as she opened the door to me she was in floods of tears. My friend had her own business before she had her children and loved to live life to the full. She used to work abroad and was full of confidence. The person who opened the door was a different person. She was tired, had cabin fever, and felt like she had lost who she was. Now I do believe when you have children they are the most important things in your life, I know my daughter comes first and since having her I have become more grounded and she will always take first place in my life. However I do think as well is that you musn't loose who you were before, this scares me and scared me to see my friend like it as you want to enjoy your children and be the best Mummy you could ever be. I want to help Mummy's embrace their new roles but also keep their identities and maintain that healthy balance.
3) Small Business Coaching
Ok I have been there and got the t-shirt so to speak. I didn't need to go to Uni to study a degree in Business, I have learnt by going out there and doing it for myself. The lessons I have learnt have been invaluabe. You are so vunerable as a small business and I want to help other small businesses with the knowledge I have gained. When you have a skill such as a trade for example electrician, plumber, builder, beautician, hairdresser etc you are so good at your trade so you decide to start out on your own. What you need to know is there's a whole lot more to having your business, important and crucial things like administration, cash flow, accounts, communication skills, sales and marketing and also the stress that comes along with it, it's all down to you now and it can be tough. But having your own business is so rewarding too and should be enjoyable, I want to help take away those stresses so you can enjoy your dream of running your own business. My dream was always to have my own business and even though it's been hard I will never go back to being employed. Personally this is the best thing for me, however the stresses and challenges that running a business can bring could have thrown me back into employment at some points.
4) Career Coaching.
This is my background, this is where I started helping people and gained so much knowledge, training and qualifications. I spent 6 years helping people back into work and loved it. Work is such a crucial part of your life as it brings in the money to pay those bills and more exciting then that treats for you. Everybody needs to work this is the ethic of life, my Mum drummed into me how important going to work was and I think that's why I am so ambitious, so thank you Mum. It is hard to find employment and people's thoughts are tarnished with how hard the econmy is right now and yes there have been redundancies and lack of jobs but there have also been upcoming businesses and sectors too recruiting, we just need to concentrate more on where they are instead of where they are not. Finding the career for you, job searching and all the skills you need to apply for work can be daunting and I want to help people to develop those skills. I gained so much knowledge, training and experience in my previous career I want to continue to pass it on.
And there they are, you now know the areas I am going to specialise in and the reasons why. I feel its important for people to know the reasons I am specialising in these areas as my passion lies within them and my passion is what drives me to deliver the coaching.
I am half way through my diploma and still getting those A's. I don't know how I would feel now if I got anything else. It's hard to come down when you are at the top!!!!! I have signed up for coaching on my public speaking so excited about that as this is a big thing for me to overcome both professionally and personally. I have set up a website profile have a look if you haven't already http://www.lucylifecoaching.vpweb.co.uk/ . I have designed and ordered my business cards, flyers etc so hopefully receiving them soon.
I am currently working with my first paying customer and have brought in introductory rates so I can start to offer my services.
Things are good and I am buzzing with excitment!!!
Thank you so much for reading, please tell me you thoughts by leaving comments as this will help me so much with my business/personal development and confidence.
I will be in touch soon with another post, all about the dreaded self esteem next time :)
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
- Firstly YOU have to take ownership of YOUR GOAL.
- DO NOT set goals you cannot do or if something will stop you from achieving them. If there are barriers, can you overcome them?
- Ask yourself how IMPORTANT the Goal is to you and what it MEANS to YOU.
- Have NO EXCUSES (only valid reasons) why they were not achieved.
- Plan YOUR GOALS in your week/month and stick to them e.g Every Tuesday Evening Gym Class/Once a month (book it in) see Friends.
- Remind yourself how you would feel if you never achieved YOUR GOALS.
- Imagine how you would feel if you achieved YOUR GOALS. Visualise yourself doing YOUR GOAL, how does it make you feel? Good I guess :)
- Tell people, they are bound to ask you how you are getting on. Just think how great you will feel telling them how well you are doing!
- Keep a record every day on what you have achieved, it seems more real when written down.
- When you have achieved something give yourself a treat e.g housework = nice bubbly bath. Makes you feel good knowing you deserved it, even though achieving YOUR GOALS should make you feel good anyway so this is a BONUS!
I hope this guide helps you, it certainly helped me to achieve my goals. I now make no excuses for not achieving things, I take full responsibilty. Realising how important my dream of becoming a life coach was and visualising my new life in this role was so powerful. I compiled a weekly planner and stuck it up on my kitchen wall of all the things I had chosen to do. My partner has one too! This works, things seem so much easier to achieve when its written down and planned.
Remember YOU never have to, need to, must do..... YOU CHOOSE TOO!
Thank you for reading, next one to follow shortly. Lucy xxx :)
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
I know from my own personal experiences that sometimes our lives can get a bit too tough and challenging. I know the strength we have in us sometimes isn't strong enough to deal with what is being chucked at us. I myself have had to deal with all sorts of things and I know those feelings people feel when things get that bit too much. I will always remember those little things people said to me which turned things around and helped me cope with what I was dealing with or motivated me to do the things I wanted to do. I believe you just need that someone to encourage you and make you believe in yourself. It's not just me who have had to deal with the strains and pressures of life I am one of many, and I personally feel sad when I see, listen and think of all the people that are unhappy with their lives. So I want to help people to find clarity with their lives and be happy.
How I got into this was by accident but now I know this is the path I was destined to take. This is something very close to my heart personally and one day I may tell you why. My journey began in 2002 I started working for a company who was in the welfare to work sector, it was a private company that ran Government Contracts to help people on benefits back to work. I can honestly say this was my best job to date. Even though I loved my job I wanted to develop further and thought of things I could do. I thought of all different things but couldn't decide. One day we were running a workshop and we invited a life coach in after speaking to her that is when I decided this was for me. I also spent 6 months working for the NHS for WorkWAYS working with people who had a mental health illness back into training or work.
I myself have had a bit of coaching and have even coached myself and I believe it really works, after 3 years of signing up to my course I took my life coach diploma folder out of the cupboard and made the hardest but best decision to come out of the business I ran with my partner to follow my dreams. It took one person to make me realise how important my dream was and I have him to thank for.
I am currently working with Volunteers for my case study's to hone my skills. I am starting to make really good contacts and getting myself out there. I am always looking for Volunteers so if you need a bit of coaching in your life please get in touch :)
Thank you for reading, next blog will follow shortly Lucy :) xx