If I don't write this blog I know that one day I will end up in hospital or prison to that fact, as I won't be able to bite my tongue much longer and will end up saying something to someone. I can't help it, when I am out and about the way I hear people communicate to each other, incuding their staff, business's staff and this is the one that gets me the most their children really quite frankly upsets me and makes me feel angry. That is why I am turning my anger to passion and coaching/teaching people how to behave and communicate and behave with each other in a positive way.
People talk to people in a negative way due to the way they are feeling or if they are finding a situation difficult and uncomfortable, if someone is feeling so low with themselves they will talk about other people in a negative way. They are feeling so low themselves it doesn't affect them. Try this exercise...to everybody who is feeling happy and positive try putting someone else down, how does it make you feel? I tried to imagine putting someone down and it made me feel so miserable and bad I would need to be in a damn right horrible place to do it.
My theory is this......
I feel Personal Development is crucial if we became happier with ourselves and learn how to deal with difficult situations, we would be able to communicate with each other in a positive way, we will see less and less people with low self esteem, more confident people and more people leading happier lives. This in turn will impact who we become and who the people we are in contact with become.
Take this as an example.......
I was in one of my favourite shops the other day and was infront of this Mother and her son, I am guessing he was 5/6. Now I know first hand what Children are like I have a very lively 3 year old, so believe me when I tell you I know how hard it is communicating with Children. I've had to research, learn and watch hours of Super Nanny to help me! The little boy came faced with temptation, Ginger Bread Men, WHY OH WHY do retailers make our lives even tougher by putting sweets, and other temptations at children's eye level!! His Mum told him "No he couldn't have one", obviously he kept asking, "No" his Mum said, he asked again, again and again until his Mum got angry and said "No, next time I come in here you are staying in the car with Daddy". The little boy starts crying she responds with "why are you crying you silly boy, you will be going straight to your room when we get home". Well my tongue was nearly bleeding with me biting it so hard. I finished paying and it was her turn, the lady on the till must have felt sorry for him because after she gave my daughter a token for her favourite boxes (you may have guessed where I was) she gave him one, the Mum responded with I don't know what is wrong with him today he is on one!
Right if I was in a bar and I asked my partner for a glass of wine and he said no, and I asked him again and he said No, then got angry and told me next time we go out for a drink I can stay at home, I am going to be upset and if he told me I was being silly for being upset that is going to affect me personally. I would think I am not worthy of anything. However dramatic this may sound to you this is the affect it has on us as people.
That little boy is going to dread asking for things when he is older as he will feel he is being silly for asking. His Mum made him feel horrible and he will never forget that feeling. This is why our brain is programmed to not ask for things as we don't want to be made a fool of. People will think I am being silly if I ask, I have to build the courage up to ask, they will probably say no, does this sound familar?
If the Mum had explained to the boy why he couldn't have a ginger bread man, due to it spoiling his tea or another reason then the little boy will understand, at no point should his Mum have called him silly, or made him feel horrible as she wasn't in control of the situation, that was her problem not his. It's obvious when you go into a shop kids are going to want stuff, my daughter has her own list!!! I never say to my daughter she is silly, stupid or call her any names, if she is crying or in a tantrum I know it's for a reason. If you tell someone they are stupid, silly or anything else they are going to grow up thinking they are.
When communicating with people please be aware of your words and your behaviour....whether it's your partner, children, employee's, colleagues, staff from companies you are dealing with, friends' or family. Just because you are feeling low or finding the situation difficult or you could even be facing someone who is also low and finding the situation difficult, we all have feelings and our brains get programmed with what we are experiencing.
I could write a whole book on this and one day I probably will, my dream is to be an inspiration and to touch people in a positive way so they can lead happier lives, and to all you who say I am mad or it won't happen I am not listening as I know it will!
I'll finish off with this fab quote......
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Thank you for reading.
Lucy :) xxx